But I have never fallen in love.
How will I know?
A dream retold:
It is spontaneity, pivotal instancy.
I see — and in a split second I feel.
No questioning, no terms or conditions, no objection.
Doubt is extinct. I am not alone.
Simplicity that does not build, does not develop.
Certainty surer than destiny — it is gravity
twice than the force, stronger than virtue.
I lose myself, balanced onto eventuality
as Time wraps us — he and I.
I need not speak, nor will he smile.
I am the prey, motionless victim — so is he.
Or, perhaps, he is the Venus flytrap;
I am limp as a docile housefly.
Luring, alluring, he stares: I may not mind.
Years passed and the shock
still hollows my chest. I seek and search —
but nothing is found. No one to recompense.
Who shall requite?
Second lucidity brings compatibility
after twelve years. It is dependence that binds
with soothing convictions
of what is incomprehensible to anyone.
Older than anything, it is genuine.
Never will it oppose. Yes and yes, a nod and embrace.
It knows without learning.
You, in so many inexplicable ways,
exude its giddy remedy.
Your faraway elusiveness its identical curiosity.
But you, ungrateful confusion,
you cannot and will not contain me.
You accuse alliance: deceived,
disfigured in your disservice.
You injure trust for a selfish poise.
My dream, you are not him.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012, 3:23 PM –
Wednesday, October 31, 2012, 10:40 AM