Archenemies were at war again.
This morning, I was eating my spicy noodle breakfast at the dining table. Rifa was taking off his clothes nearby, to shower after sweeping the floor. His dad, my sociopathic egomaniac brother, saw that the floor was still dirty and ordered Rifa to re-sweep it. And he did. Naked.
My sister Farah went out of her room, met Rifa, and asked, "Why are you sweeping the floor without your clothes on?"
I was laughing like an insensitive maniac, "Faaarr! Take pictures NOW! Record him on a video!" It was crazy hilarious to see an eight year old naked boy sweeping the floor. "So, when he's all grown he can see how he swept the floor naked when he was little. AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" I choked from laughing so hard.
Rifa, being easily offended as he is, stopped sweeping, and yelled at me, "Don't laugh! It's time to abandon Mel-mel in the farthest market!"
Irresponsible Indonesians abandon unwanted cats and kittens in a traditional market where these animals can find leftover food. Apparently, Rifa thinks he can do the same to me.
"And to which market are you going to abandon me, huh?"
"I'll ask Daddy to drive and abandon you in Kebayoran Lama! That's far and you can't go home!"
|Our home is the blue bubble|
in Kedoya Utara,
and the red bubble is
I laughed harder, "That's like... fifteen minutes away from here. I can go home safely with my eyes closed from Kebayoran Lama!"
"FINE! I'll send you somewhere reeaally far so you won't be able to come back here!"
"Like where? America?" Rifa knows America is a faraway country.
"Yes! I'll ship you in a package to America!"
"HA. Go ahead. I know how to go back home even from America."
"How will you do that?"
"I won't tell you how."
"You'll take a plane, won't you?"
Still raging at me, Rifa went to the bathroom, shouting, "I want a DIVORCE from Mel-mel!" The twins always want a divorce from me every time I vex them.
"We can't have a divorce. We're not married."
"Yes, we can! We won't be families anymore!"
"No one wants to be your family. Only ducks want to be your family."
"Daaaaaaaaaaddyyyyyyy... Mel-mel said only ducks want to be my family!" Rifa filled his toy syringe with tap water and aimed it at me.
"Spray me once, and I'll take that thing away from you forever," I threatened.
My voice was so dark that he refrained from spraying water at me and started taking his shower. Rofi joined him and they closed the bathroom door. I could hear Rifa grumbling aloud, cursing me, "I am SO mad at Mel-mel! I'll be Mel-mel's enemy from now on!"
Rofi commented, "Are you really mad at Mel-mel?"
"YES, I AM!" Rifa roared, "I won't ever care about Mel-mel anymore!"
Of all the twenty minutes in the shower, they probably mentioned Mel-mel and Amel at least fifty times. It's so flattering to be the center of twin little maggots' universe.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012, 12:39 PM