A faceless red lip photo. The one I attached to the post "Amel Anniza". That was not meant to attract anyone. Any self-portrait I take is to expose factuality: I'm fat, second-rate, half-mad. Not sexy.
Yes, I know I can capture normal poses where people may see my face clearly. But where's the fun in that? Incomparably boring! I hate common pictures where everything seems pretty and pleasant. So artificial. I don't want that. I want to appear weird, offensive, and provocative. Never in a sexual way. I know nothing about being sexual. I've never even held hands with a man, okay?
It's more of an expression of wickedness. Something to say, "You are looking at a foreboding witch. Her words foul; her gestures scowl. Don't forget to equip yourself with a fire-proof shield before speaking to her."
The Internet is so full of sex-crazed idiots who objectify females as if we were soulless porn commodities. Just because I present a photo of my lipstick-stained lips, I am promoting myself for sex? Seriously? NO. That's a very wrong prejudice. If you really read the post before that, you would discover that I took the webcam shot at work, in my small room, when no students came to class. What does that make me? A slacker. A lazy English teacher. Nothing sexy there.
Almost daily, on Okcupid, men of various ages from different countries waste time to email me only to say meaningless lines such as I look cute/sexy/beautiful. And some contradicted my claim of being an unkissed virgin. Accusing that I lied. Some others called me a hypocrite for not wanting to have sex without marriage. What's up with all that? You know absolutely nothing about me. And all you care about is my damn photos.
Thursday, February 16, 2012, 8:19 PM
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Do you dare disturb the Universe?