let me tell you of the raven's sins.

Reading: some shitty Internet news.
Listening to: bread seller, rooster, the wind, the wind.
Last watched: Scorpion.
Mood: abandoned.
2014 October xx, 6:42 AM.

Monday, February 20, 2012

The Night I Tasted Martian Blood

At the beginning of this newly-christened blog, I swore to be an aloof, self-centered, hurtful poet, refraining from any bite of dizzying romance. It worked for a week. Then, like a bad weather, it struck without warning. I had a haunting nightmare of Steven that turned into compulsive thoughts when I was awake.

Steven is my Okcupid crush since October 2010. He hates my deifying him into some sort of heaven-sent perfection, so he told me not to put him on a pedestal. Which is why I'm doing the exact opposite of what he wants me to do. I wonder if anyone else sees the things I do, or is it only my rose-colored glasses?

In chronologically random order, let me divulge temporal facts why I like Steven. A lot.
  1. He found me.
  2. Was the first twenty-three year old lad who visited my Okcupid profile. I was twenty-eight. Seeing someone five years younger clicking my profile was... between disturbing and puzzling.
  3. Turned out: he's an international playboy who seduces inexperienced older women on dating sites. Makes sense.
  4. Took self-photos in front of a whiteboard.
  5. While drinking toxic water from his pessimist's mug.
  6. His first mail sounded amusing. Refreshing. Playful and bouncy.
  7. His last name is Cullen.
  8. Sparkles under the sun (which reveals that he's a sultry bloodthirsty vampire).
  9. The one who informed me that America is twelve hours behind Indonesia. I used to think it was fourteen.
  10. Likes Savage Garden's "Crash and Burn".
  11. Loves Owl City!!
  12. Sent me his untitled piano number five. I still listen to that fun little song in my playlist.
  13. Sings bravely, though sometimes terribly.
  14. The most humble person I know. All humility with no trace of pride.
  15. Looks awfully cute when he's upset.
  16. Sounds so lonesome. Reminding me of my own voice.
  17. Told me stories of witches and wizards.
  18. Erratically poked me on Facebook.
  19. Cheered me up when no one else wanted to be there for me.
  20. The first person who didn't cower when I told him I wanted to die.
  21. Also the first who thinks that my being dark is not nauseating.
  22. Drives a black, shiny Aston Martin Vanquish V12 (another clue that he's a super-wealthy depressed teenage vampire).
  23. A submissive boy-toy whom I can boss around to sing me Savage Garden songs.
  24. Sent me the most endearing (misspelt) poem.
  25. A closet gay who only wants me to touch his heart.
  26. Writes clich├ęs as syrupy as Owl City's lyrics.
  27. That can never be deciphered by human eyes.
  28. Speaks in binary codes.
  29. And spontaneous rhymes.
  30. Can't count.
  31. Has purple eyes.
  32. Hates Scott Pilgrim comics.
  33. Patiently taught me some things about the periodic table.
  34. Didn't break when others tried to break him.
  35. Lives on Mars.
  36. Pasted me the coolest rock songs with Jesus in them.
  37. And then Doki and Nabi cartoons.
  38. Sent me secret messages.
  39. Thinks I'm a kitten.
  40. And he's a cat.
  41. The only one who always knows how to talk to me. His words are the solace where I can feel most like myself.
  42. Documented his accidents on Facebook and Twitter.
  43. And still tried to IM me when he broke his clavicle.
  44. Is not easily angered.
  45. But managed to infuriate me.
  46. Has the dreamy kindness of a unicorn.
  47. Nothing else tastes like him. Must be his Martian blood.
  48. Constitutes an unhappy mess on the floor.
  49. Telling him how I love him healed my pain. Like a counterspell.
  50. Just because.

Monday, February 20, 2012, 3:32 AM
Tea party

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