Friday, April 18, 2014

it's always empty before it gets worst

the school opens in ancient books and predicaments vast yards of dark green vines and tall stone walls i am running home the train is silver steel of long carriages that speed along the right side of home the home that i always knew my streets my mall my blackened river i miss my stop as i always do and the train never returns as no one ever does so i am to continue this progressive haste to nowhere but worries and scares of not being able to find my way back to what i know and where i belong mending my stain alone for no one listens just these rumbling engines where i am trapped with a oneway ticket to endless meandering

friday, april 18, 2014, 1:06 p.m. –

the closest to reality

people — you everyone — look at me once and stop looking cause they sense how i am untouchable thus unbreakable and they leave me alone doing whatever it is i do alone crying mostly not talking not caring not seeming like i care but really i don't care anymore nothing can fix me nothing will stop me from forever crying maybe it's depression i'm sure they call it depression i call it confusion or not being able to feel not being able to fit into the mold of everyone's carefree little world sometimes i do what they do like wasting away or trying to sound like i might be alive somewhere but really i'm not i've been dead for years and i muffle the voices of others under the familiar voices of popular music that sounds like a repetition from the past and nothing moves me nothing can make me whole perhaps that is why i'm forever crying one of these days they will institutionalize me in some decrepit place with no light no way out only cause they know i am unbreakable and i start to think that i am as unbreakable as they think i am which is just another way of saying i cannot feel

friday, april 18, 2014, 10:48 a.m. –