1. I don't need anyone (or any cat) to live. What's necessary is only my writing. Detachment reddens my blood.
2. I never matter in this God-damned world — because I don't want to.
3. I am afraid of any type of accident that can kill me. My master plan is death by cyanide (or drowning cause I suspect I'm a carnivorous mermaid).
4. I cannot love. I will kill most people for self-defense (though I'm afraid of blood).
5. I hate teaching, but consider education as the most fundamental, most crucial issue in any society. Those who devalue education are my enemies.
6. I don't waste my time being willingly perky and exploit social pleasantries to anyone. I only smile at work cause I need to appear approachable to my students.
7. Positivity and optimism sicken me to death.
8. I clarify the ideas in my sentences to avoid misunderstanding. Communication is the best compromise.
9. The only people I like are those who read, write, and discuss literature and grave philosophies. Superficiality never interests me.
10. The best use of my arms was to hold Rofi when he began to sob and tremble seeing his parents' fight. The best use of my words was to reassure the twins that I will always be here to defend them if their father (my brutal brother) threatens to beat them up again. Perhaps the only thing that would prevent my suicide is to wait and help them grow and teach them how to be mentally strong the way I brandished a knife at my brother when he abused me. Perhaps I have a meaning.
11. The night before Steven emailed me about his stupid Facebook indecency, I went to an online tarot site to make a wish that Steven would email me soon. Never thought it could come true. What are the odds.
12. Gluttony over sloth. Sloth over wrath. Wrath over envy.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013, 9:04 – 11:34 PM